i know right!

they say love is patient.
is waiting for you for 7 years patient enough?

they say love is kind.
i give more than i take.
passionate to those people around me
is that enough to consider me kind?

they say love isnt jealous.
is being afraid of losing you and seeing you with somebody else
close enough that i would wish that it is i who’s holding you, jealousy?

they say love is never envious.
i never questioned how much you give to others
and how much you give to me, but giving everything all you have to that someone and there’s nothing left that you could give for me,
how can i not suffer?

they say love does not brag.
there are things better left unsaid.
if i have shouted it to the whole world, would you stay?

they say love is not arrogant.
i talk less. i think more.

is my imperfection enough for you to say that you love me too?
or
would you still leave me for not being the one that you wanted me to.

i was reading some of the text messages that ive receive for the past few months ( i dont like mentioning names so bear with me).

after reading a message, i delete it and so on and so forth. 

then i realized how much i was loved and cared by these people.

unfortunately, i dissapeared. i just suddenly dissapeared.

i was so amazed of how i easily i can let go of them and how hard it was to let go of that someone i truly love. i was struck hard enough to realize that they have feelings too. they too are fragile. that they crave to be loved and cared as well.

as far as i have given them, i thought its enough already, but its more than that.

i was thinking.. maybe my heart is only halfway open that i can only give ample of time, enough for everyone but not all.

ive been playful. ive been harsh.

maybe i should start looking back and keep reminding myself that in the future this must not happen ever again. i should say sorry to them. i know its a bit off and awkward and its too late already. ive hurt them enough. but i think its the right thing to do.

i dont think its going to work. with you right there and me right here. two different worlds, bound to live different lives. destined to meet and fall apart. set to travel different paths. it hasnt been that easy to find you. with the seven thousand islands that we have, its fate but its not love. yet here we are standing in two different pedestals.

i didnt took the fall so did you. every waking day we are setting our minds that this romance will not work. not possible. not in our time. not in this life. not in this world.

there are a lot of what ifs running through my mind and i know that it will take us forever to get there. but forever has brought us here and we let it slipped away. just that. with just one snap of a finger… you’re here, one blink of an eye… youre gone. just that easy. that simple.

but this i promise.. you’ll forever be in my heart and hopefully, if God forbids, i’ll see you in my next lifetime, in a different situation, in a different light, in a calm sea, in a beautiful horizon. we’ll build a life that everyone would ever dream of. a journey that everyone would love to have.

maybe then i could give you my life, my heart and my soul. maybe in our next life. maybe. its just not the right time. no. not now.

i love you and will always have. i’ll see you in forever. its not that far. distance is just an excuse. sacrifice would be the best way to break it. to define it. and to hold it. distance may separate us. but not our hearts. not our minds. not our thoughts. not our lives. not us.